


Wouldn't Want You Any Other Way

by syriala



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Tony, M/M, future marriage proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 16:06:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12391515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syriala/pseuds/syriala
Summary: Having a long-distance relationship wasn’t easy. Having a long-distance relationship with a soldier was even worse.





	Wouldn't Want You Any Other Way

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DreamcatchersDaughter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamcatchersDaughter/gifts).



Having a long-distance relationship wasn’t easy. Having a long-distance relationship with a soldier was even worse.

There were time zones to consider, and then the worrying days when Bucky was out on a mission. Tony had already lived through the horror of that particular gut-wrenching phone call once and he didn’t care for another, but Bucky was a soldier through and through, just like Tony was a genius.

So when Bucky had come back home with one arm short, he had begged Tony to come up with a solution for it; to make him whole again so that he could go back out. They had a pretty big fight about it, but in the end Tony couldn’t deny Bucky. He couldn’t help being a genius and Bucky couldn’t help being a soldier and Tony understood that to a degree.

Tony had come up with the most advanced prosthetic to this point and he didn’t only give Bucky an important part of his life bacl but he also revolutionized that particular field of technology.

But that meant that Bucky was back with the army, taking risks no one could foresee, and Tony almost hated himself for it. But Bucky was more than happy, so Tony didn’t try to think too much about it. Especially since that only led to thoughts about how Bucky preferred being away from Tony.

It was a constant concern of Tony’s, that Bucky was only with him because they didn’t spend a lot of time together, but everyone called him stupid when he mentioned that so mostly he had stopped.

Even though that didn’t mean he wasn’t still thinking it.

Bucky and he skyped regularly; well, as regular as Bucky’s schedule got, but they made due somehow.

Whenever Tony’s screen lit up with Bucky’s face, he momentarily forgot about his worries because Bucky looked delighted every single time, without fail and it made Tony’s heart skip a beat.

“Hey, soldier,” he greeted Bucky once he thought his heart was back in rhythm.

“Hey, genius,” Bucky greeted him back and he looked happy and healthy.

“No missions for you?” Tony asked and Bucky grinned at him.

“I’m getting leave in three days. Think you have time for me?” Bucky asked and Tony grinned right back at him.

“I always have time for my favourite soldier,” he told Bucky, who laughed.

They talked about everything that happened since the last time they skyped; Bucky inquired about Pepper and Rhodey, about SI and about how Tony was doing and Tony asked about the arm, his health and how the team was.

They didn’t have an unlimited amount of time, but they made due.

When it was time to say goodbye, Tony was sad to see Bucky go, like always, but he also was delighted to see Bucky again in three days.

“I’ll see you soon,” Bucky said, right before he looked at something off screen. “I love you,” he added distractedly and Tony could feel his face fall.

Bucky wasn’t looking directly at him, but apparently he still noticed because his attention was back on Tony in a second.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, worry clear in his voice but Tony shook his head.

“Nothing, love. Go be a good little soldier and I’ll see you soon. Love you too,” he rushed out before he cut the call off.

Tony would never admit it to anyone, but he was afraid that Bucky only said it out of habit.

He always said it, without fail, but it appeared to be more habit than anything else and Tony didn’t know how he felt about that.

On the one hand he was absolutely stunned that they reached that stage of their relationship, where telling the other ‘I love you’ was a regular occurrence, so ingrained that they didn’t even think about it anymore; but on the other hand Tony was afraid that Bucky only said it out of habit and not because he felt it anymore. Like it was a chore he had to do, but he went through the motions without really feeling it.

Tony would never bring it up with Bucky, too afraid of the answer, but if Bucky brought it up in a few days, Tony didn’t know what he would do.

He was looking forward to having Bucky back home; he mostly lived with Tony now, and Tony wouldn’t have it any other way, but he was also apprehensive.

It’s been a long time since they saw each other in person and he was nervous. There was always the danger that one of them changed too much, that they didn’t fit together anymore, even though they went through so much together.

They lived through several abductions of Tony, the continued deployment of Bucky; their relationship survived when Bucky lost his arm and came back with PTSD and a broken will and they survived Tony’s several heart surgeries.

You would think that that would strengthen their relationship, but Tony was still wondering when Bucky would finally walk away from him. Having him say ‘I love you’ like he had to now, like he just remembered it as an afterthought did nothing to soothe Tony’s nerves.

But he tried not to think about that and instead prepared everything for Bucky’s return. He didn’t know exactly how long Bucky could stay, but he stocked up on his favourite food anyway.

When Bucky arrived there was a lot of hugging and kissing and cuddling before they settled into their usual routine.

They bantered and relaxed together, made love like it was their first time before they settled into the more passionate version of it, and it was all very domestic in general.

Right until one morning, where Tony stumbled out of their bedroom and made a beeline straight for the coffee machine, where he stared at it until it had produced enough coffee to fill Tony’s favourite mug.

He pulled the carafe out before it was done, just to get his fix of caffeine faster and all the while Bucky watched him, amused, soft smile playing around his mouth.

When Tony let out a sigh whit the first sip of coffee Bucky pulled him close to press a kiss to his temple.

“Dear god, I swear, sometimes I forget how much I love you,” he said into Tony’s hair and Tony tensed in his grip.

His hands started to shake and he had to set the mug down, too afraid that he was going to break it. Bucky noticed immediately that something was wrong and he pulled slightly back to get a better look at Tony.

Tony was pretty sure that he was talking to him, but there was a buzzing sound in his ears and it prevented him from hearing what Bucky was saying.

Tony couldn’t have concentrated on it anyway, he was too busy falling into a panic attack.

This was everything he ever feared. Bucky falling out of love with him; wondering why he even was with him when he was back with the Army, not remembering why he loved Tony in the first place.

These things could happen in long-distance relationships, Tony knew that, but he had always hoped they would be spared. Apparently that wasn’t the case and Tony saw his whole life crumbling around him.

Bucky would leave him eventually; there would be a mission that lasted longer than normal and it would wake Bucky up, to the point where Bucky realized that he didn’t really love Tony at all.

When Tony came back to himself, he was sitting on the couch, Bucky crouched in front of him, with his hands clasped tightly around Tony’s.

“Are you back with me, love?” Bucky asked and Tony almost started to cry right then and there.

He was a mess, a hot mess and nothing else; it wasn’t really a surprise that Bucky didn’t want to be with him anymore.

Bucky blanched and Tony realized too late that he had said that out loud.

“Why would you think I don’t want to be with you anymore? I just told you I love you,” Bucky said and Tony swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“But you also said you forget that you love me,” he whispered and Bucky shook his head.

“No, I said that sometimes I forget just _how much_ I love you.”

“Same difference,” Tony mumbled but Bucky wouldn’t have it.

“Look at me,” he demanded and he waited until Tony finally met his eyes. “I could never forget that I love you. It’s a vital part of who I am. I might as well just introduce myself like that. ‘Hi, I’m Bucky, I’m a soldier and in love with Tony Stark’.”

“Then why did you say it?” Tony whispered and Bucky rose up until he could rest his forehead against Tony’s.

“It’s a part of me; always there, and I get used to it. It’s just like the arm. I know it’s there, I could never forget that, but I don’t notice it that much. But then I see you again and it hits me again, just how much, how fiercely I love you. It burns me on those moments, it consumes me whole but that doesn’t mean I love you less during the other times,” Bucky explained and to Tony’s, and Bucky’s, horror, Tony burst into tears right then and there.

“I love you, too. God, I love you so much it hurts sometimes and I get so worried that you don’t feel the same; that someday you will stop feeling the same. That you’ll forget you love me when you are away.”

“Could you forget that you love me?” Bucky questioned and Tony laughed.

“Never,” he admitted. “I am reminded of that every time I so much as breathe.”

“And it’s the same for me,” Bucky quietly told him and then pulled away. “Look, there’s actually something I wanted to do,” he said and to Tony’s amazement he blushed.

“There’s a reason I asked for my leave and there’s something I have to talk to you about.”

“I would be worried if you hadn’t just made sure that I remember that you loved me,” Tony rushed out and Bucky chuckled.

“I know. I would have started differently otherwise.”

“Okay,” Tony said. “What is it?” He trusted Bucky to not break his heart right now.

“I asked for a discharge,” Bucky said without preamble and Tony almost choked on his next breath.

“What? Why would you do that?”

“Because I wanted to ask you to marry me. And it’s not fair to ask you that when I go back into active combat.”

“Are you asking me to marry you right after I had a panic attack because I thought you would leave me?” Tony incredulously asked.

“No,” Bucky told him. “No, I am not asking you to marry me now. I don’t want to do that until the discharge comes through. I don’t want you to have to say that your fiancé is in combat right now. I am just letting you know that it will happen, soon. The discharge is the thing I wanted to talk about. That and my living situation.”

“Your living situation?” Tony asked, head a bit dizzy with everything Bucky had just announced.

“I mostly live here, but I still have my flat. And I would like to get rid of that. I want to move in with you.”

“You just indirectly asked me to marry you. You think I will object to you moving in?” Tony asked and Bucky shrugged.

“I didn’t really ask yet, and you didn’t say yes yet, so I wanted to start with a smaller thing.”

“You practically live here anyway. I told you a while back that I don’t understand why you still have your flat in the first place,” Tony said and he almost felt dizzy with how happy he was.

“So, do you want to tell me I can move in?” Bucky asked, as if he needed the clarification.

“Of course you can move in,” Tony rushed out. “And just for the record? If you ask me, I will say yes,” he told Bucky, all serious again. “So you better be prepared for that.”

“I couldn’t be more prepared. Give me a few more weeks though, paper work is a bitch and it’s gonna take some time.”

Tony took his time to just gaze at Bucky for a few seconds before he took a deep breath.

“I love you so much, it chokes me sometimes,” he admitted then and Bucky finally got up to sit next to him on the couch.

“Same, to be honest. That was what I wanted to tell you earlier, when you got your coffee like the addict you are.”

Tony laughed. “I’m sorry I misunderstood. And I’m sorry that I am not more secure in this,” he softly added.

“Wouldn’t have you any other way,” Bucky said with a little shake of his head. “I love you, insecurities and all.”

Bucky started to pepper Tony’s face with kisses and Tony delightedly laughed out loud.

“I can’t believe you want to marry me,” he said between kisses and Bucky pulled him in for a deep kiss.

“I can’t believe you can’t believe I want to marry you,” he said once they parted. “I also can’t believe you will say yes.”

“I can’t believe you would doubt that,” Tony softly said and Bucky sighed.

“I wished I was discharged already, so I could do it now.”

“You always can you know,” Tony nudged him but Bucky shook his head.

“No, I’m gonna do it right. Ambience, ring and all. I’ll sweep you off your feet.”

“You do that every day,” Tony told him and then snuggled close to Bucky.

“And I will continue to do it for the rest of my life,” Bucky whispered and Tony couldn’t believe how lucky he was.

“Good. Wouldn’t have it any other way,” he told Bucky and then rested his head on Bucky’s chest, content right where he was, in the arms of his love.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can always find me on my [tumblr](http://bloody-bee-tea.tumblr.com/)


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